Tragic Culture
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| Friday, December 11th, 2009 | | 9:15 am |
| | Sunday, November 15th, 2009 | | 10:26 pm |
[Madrigal] Epilogue for a Princess (Epic Win)
Forget what happens next. The Hall is now a place of silence; the burden of thousands of years of pain and betrayal screamed out into the ever lasting night no more. Harmony returns to the Heir of Golden Tears and Discordant rhymes suffer no longer the torments of the past. For now, where once-bright silvery light and Airie music rang out in challenge to the scattered wanderers of this arcane landscape, and the Embers of Hope were burned to ash by the ignorance of an earlier Age; only the Grey Lady remains, dreaming of Sisterhood and of Family. In the night, when the wind dies and silence once more rules the Lost Kingdom, she remembers. And they all live again. | | Thursday, July 16th, 2009 | | 12:23 pm |
Competency
While this Article applies in general to WOW, the following quote of undeniable brilliance applies, I feel, to everyone; especially the majority of the people at my work: "Imagine you’re trying to teach your son to play baseball. You teach him the rules, how to throw, how to swing, and when you tell him to go for it, he throws the ball into the side of his own head, runs the wrong way, and tries to sell a blowjob to an undercover cop. Warcraft players fail in directions you never thought possible." Full Article: http://www.cracked.com/blog/understanding-the-world-of-warcraft-using-super-mario-brothers/ | | Tuesday, July 7th, 2009 | | 2:59 pm |
| | Wednesday, June 24th, 2009 | | 3:23 pm |
[NERO] - Inside Track?
Any interesting thoughts or revelations coming out of the Sympensu...Symtomnis...Syterm...National Gathering? I mean, aside from the Executive Vice President for Human Resources getting baked until he can barely talk and confusing Goblin Stamps for Tramp Stamps... I mean, aside from NERO Houston seemingly telling the Franch...er, Licensing Juggernaut that is National to (politely!) go screw. http://www.nerohouston.com/ | | Wednesday, June 3rd, 2009 | | 10:52 am |
[NERO] Queensryche vs. Val Jolenti
Obscure references aside, the folks over at NERO EMPIRE have decided that instead of hanging separately; they'd all rather be hung together (along with NERO MASS). And the quickest way to be well hung in NERO* (aside from killing a close friend of the Executive Vice-President of Communication at another chapter which results in your entire Barony getting outlawed in Avalon and you getting personally invited to attend some "punishment role-play" in Avendale) is to, for instance, create a Petition to Address certian Grievances... Said Grievances range from the serious and blatant violation of State Laws in regards to Franchising and Insuring; to the slightly less serious but more amusing cessation of issuing directives in regards to rules and playtests. One can only imagine the next thing to be done is to dress up like Mystic Wood Elves and dump all the Goblin Stamps into Boston Harbor. http://www.destinyforge.com/neroempire/yanf/default.aspx?g=posts&t=261Sadly, as I worry the folks at EMPIRE will soon discover, the NERO lowerarchy, being the "sort of" sole-owner and "decider" of NERO, is totally immune to such things as well worded grievances, rational arguement, and the correct usage of their, they're and there. But nice try fellas. *Apparently, wearing a Jester's Cap is also high treason...because we have nothing to p43r but p43r itself...and articles of clothing. | | 10:42 am |
| | Tuesday, May 5th, 2009 | | 10:54 am |
[NERO] - What the heck does *that* mean?
Asked to give a reason why NERO Mass has had National Plot yanked from the Chapter for a year, the Executive Vice President for Corporate Communications, Val Jolenti, issued this statement on the Forums: "The NERO Office is dedicated to providing a high quality role playing experience. Let me assure you that NERO Members which play at NERO Events in the state of Mass are not being discriminated against. NERO Mass is the oldest and most venerable chapter in NERO and those NERO Members who attend NERO Mass events are important to us. We are 110% committed to working with a NERO Mass Chapter owner who will work with its licenser in a constructive, collaborative and positive manner to insure the best gaming experience to our players." So. Yeah. There's your reason right'cha there. Somewhere? PS: Rumors that Mr. Jolenti has been forced to move his place of residence to a Campsite in Atlanta are currently unconfirmable, but amusing nonetheless... | | Wednesday, April 22nd, 2009 | | 10:43 am |
| | Thursday, April 9th, 2009 | | 12:36 pm |
[LARP] NERO vs. NERO - The Last Laugh
It's been forever since the NERO vs. NERO battle faded into the distance; so much so that I haven't really been checking up on any comings and goings; but with a local Alliance Event coming up, I've been giving their website the Once Over, and I found the final summation (from one side, at least) of the Lawsuit and the Reasons it Failed. One part stuck out, however, which is numbingly Funny. I can't find a mis-spelled Domain Registration to *prove* if its true, or not, but just the *thought* of it being true is the perfect final exclaimaition(spelled wrong) point on the whole issue: "We had a phone conference with the two of us and our lawyers, and Joe laughed at me and said that I couldn't be "Alliance LARP" because he had already registered the web address in anticipation of that (being the complete asshole that he is). "No," I replied. "I have had it registered for months." Joe got all upset, checked online, and discovered that he had spelled "Alliance" wrong when he registered it. Even his own lawyer laughed at him for that." A-Yup. | | 12:24 pm |
Calderia - Here I come!
I *Finally* found a LARP this weekend!! (Formerly NERO) Alliance is running Calderia this weekend at the Tolland 4-H Camp (MJ Site) like 25 minutes from my house... ...anybody out there know these guys at all? It's like the one game I haven't ever been to or seen cross-over from... | | 9:53 am |
[NERO] With Geico, you can save up to 100% on your LARP Insurance
...especially when it's no longer available! From the always amusing NERO Forums; "Our chapter was recently refused an insurance certificate for an upcoming event. The insurance contact said to speak to Joe Valenti... but our General Manager has been unable to get in touch with him (emails unanswered, IMs not returned, phone calls going to voicemail, etc.) Anyone know anything about this? Is the situation being corrected? Joe Wolf NERO Houston Staff (Received word that another chapter was also refused an insurance certificate... so its not just our chapter or a paper-work snafu.)" ...Huh. It must have gotten cancelled along with Harmonics...oh, BTW, Harmonics is now *back* in, at least until May 30th... | | 9:21 am |
[NERO] All UR Dark Future No Longer Belong to Us
From the Desk of Val Jolenti, Ambassador of Foreign Relations (passed on in tense by the Owner of NERO Mass): "Earlier this week the staff of Nero Mass was notified by National that National representatives would not be allowed to run their plotlines in our campaign for at least the remainder of the year. The Ravenholt staff has worked closely with several national representatives over the years and had numerous plotlines planned for this and upcoming events. While we are disappointed in this decision, we felt it was important to share this information with our player base. The staff is diligently working to fill the gaps in our event schedule as a result of this change." Huh...is this some weird type of punishment? Is this a glimpse of the future, as NERO National puts some things on hold while they right the ship? And what about poor Mickey G? Out of everyone I know, it looks like he's on the short end of the stick here. Stay Tuned, loyal readers, while we sort through this latest round of WTFisms... | | Thursday, March 26th, 2009 | | 11:02 am |
[NERO] Mark UR Calenders, New NERO Roolz on the way
Just in from the Desk of the Vice President for Internal Communications: "We are publishing a new Rule Book via PDF on April 30, 2009 (coming to the owners in 5 days for 20 day review)" Aaaaaand, there you have it. Seeing as how I am still awaiting my 2nd issue of LARP Mag (www.larpmag.com) due April 2007; your mileage may vary. Oh, and, as an aside, Harmoanicks was brought low by the last Owner Rules Thing Symposium where, out of 30 owners, only 1 voted to keep that particular playtest. (Note: There is no truth to the rumors that out of 30 owners, 0 voted to keep the Val Jolenti playtest; or that a "party line" vote caused the Executive Vice President of Human Resources (Pear Mattson) to be drawn and quartered, but, has anyone seen him recently?) | | Friday, March 13th, 2009 | | 10:18 am |
[OMFG] Niche Market, here "we" come...
(Credit for discovering this goes to WildElven, belated welcome back from Suriname, All UR Kilt Belong to US(A). At first, I thought this was Val Jolenti propelling us further into the Mainstream. After doing a little WHOIS work, it turns out the mainstream is trying to propel us *back* into the Niche Market. Apparently, there is a "Passions" Network, which is busy creating Demographically Targeted Websites for Niche Dating Markets...you know what that means, right? http://www.larppassions.com/Happy Friday the 13th. | | Thursday, March 12th, 2009 | | 10:49 am |
[LARP] - NERO Humor
So, as usual, the NERO Mass list has several awesomely amusing postings about WTF happened to Harmonics, why Draelonde got Nationalized, and what the new "Mystery" Chapter is in Mass. For UR LOLZ, the two best snippets are posted here: "I'm still waiting on long plot to even be replied to. I thought Valenti was dead to be honest." You know, when you post a Rules Change and your Players believe in you *so much* they thought you were deceased, it might tell you something about your management style. "Joe is neither a fool, nor an unreasonable person..." Ummmm...you mean the same guy who wanted to start a Traveling Museum full of LARP Memorabilia? I think "fool" and "unreasonable" are but the kindest of things one could say... http://www.larpmuseum.com/ | | Wednesday, March 11th, 2009 | | 10:34 am |
[LARP] - 8 years later, Harmonics Dies
From the Desk of the Executive Vice President for Development of NERO International(tm): "This is notification that the NERO Office shall be removing any and all Harmonics playtests from the authorized NERO Rule Book Playtest List on April 01, 2009. As per the NERO License and Lease Agreement, NERO Mass (and all other NERO Chapters who may be using the Harmonics Playtest) must remove the playtest from use immediately starting that date." So...I guess that "playtest" which was being tested for 8+ years, uh, *failed*. Could it, could it *possibly* be, with the deletion of Harmonics, Stop Thrust, and the addition of the "Sap," that NERO is actually cleaning up their rules? Or, did someone just have their favorite NPC killed by a PC using Harmonics; because, you know, *that* type of Vendetta would never carry over into a impulsive rules change or anything... | | Monday, March 2nd, 2009 | | 2:53 pm |
| | Tuesday, February 17th, 2009 | | 5:06 pm |
How well do you know your significant other?
1. She's sitting in front of the TV, what is on the screen while she's eating, sewing, painting, gluing and doing that unsettling thing where she uses her concealed 3rd and 4th arms to accomplish even more tasks at once? ESPN's 2nd Season of Amish Rake Fighting episode 6 (Ezekiel Hollowbrenner versus Mordaci Jacobsby). 2. You're out to eat; what kind of dressing does she get on her salad and promptly put on her bread and onion rings and french fries to give their hollow-vegan-tastelessness some flavor? Honey Mustard. 3. What's one food she doesn't like? Anything with copious amounts of cheese we watch everyone else at the restaurant consume in a 3800 calorie horrorshow of gluttony. 4. You go out to eat and have a drink. What does she order that's usually not available? Barque's Root Beer, available only in one specific place in Rhode Island. If unavailable, she orders a dejected look and a water. 5. Where did she go to high school and graduate as the only girl in the class not pregnant or sterilized by the local superfund site? Leadville, Colorado: School Mascot; the Glowing Fetus. 6. What size shoe does she wear without traction in the winter? Size 6 cowboy boots. 7. If she was to collect anything, what would it be? LARPer souls. Other people's second chins. 8. What is her favorite type of man-wich? Hugh Jackson/Christian Bale - from The Prestige. 9. What would this person eat every day if she could? Again with the eating. This begins to explain why the majority of our society resembles skin-covered plushies. 10. What is her favorite cereal? Angry-Morning Coffee. It counts as cereal due to the chunks of biterness at having to get up at 6am. 11. What would she never wear? A latex Glove, stretched over her head, like a Rooster...no matter how I try to jam one on her head in the morning when she's still asleep. 12. What is her favorite sports team that I hate? Denver Broncos. She's a freakin' ELWAY fan. She also has a poster of Vanilla Ice in her closet. 13. Who did she vote for but couldn't spell their last name correctly? Dennis Kucicneh...Kucine...KQueenisch. 14. Who is her best friend she never sees? Some chick in Antartica, who keeps sending her cool pictures; except for the last one, which appeared to be an in-action shot from the Ice Cave in Empire Strikes Back...or she was just attacked by a Polar Bear, which might be...bad. 14a. Who is her best friend who may have just been eaten by a Polar Bear? Some chick in Antartica. 15. What is something you do that she wishes you wouldn't do? Randomly shave off one of her eyebrows while she's sleeping. 16. What is her heritage? Pagan. 17. You bake her a cake for her birthday, what kind? Poison! I can't possibly make something as complex as a cake...and that would require me to have a, um, whatdoyoucallthatplace? A Kitchen. Right. A Kitchen in my condo...I think there might be one? 18. Did she play sports in high school? Yes, Shotput. That she is not a uni-browed Yugoslavian in a miracle. 19. What could she spend hours doing? Costuming...anything. The squirrels outside are all wearing tunics. 20. What is one unique talent she has? The ability to sell anything to undersocialized men at Ren Faires. | | Friday, February 6th, 2009 | | 10:35 am |
[LARP] Don't go getting all Sappy on me...
So it seems the Executive Committee of NERO, entirely composed of one man, possibly in a Terrycloth Bathrobe, preparing himself a Sexy Dinner, has decided that, effective pretty much *right* freakin' now, the 'Waylay' Skill can only be used with a Sap*. Because, you know, beyond the sheer and stunning inelegance of a Rules System 8+ years out of date, using a Swing-Damage-Call-System that no other game system has even considered continuing, with dozens upon dozens of intricate rules totally unavailable in any book or reference guide, has decided that "Woah Partner! Thematically speaking, we'd better get that *waylay* skill changed ASAP." Good Choice, my friend, good choice. Make a Loud Noise Over Here and then, well, delegate to "Mickey G." and run for the hills, as follows: "I discussed this with nearly all of the nero chapter owners over the last year or two but we haven't been able to implement it. Now is the time. The new rules will require the use of a SAP weapon. This will be implemented almost immediately - as per the regular NERO rules alteration policies (i think it says each quarter but no less than 30 days). Mickey G., please write up the Rules Change to require the use of a Sap Weapon ONLY. I am unavailable for the next week or so, if you could please write it up and submit it to the owners for wording grammer check etc. etc., It would be greatly appreciated." *A Sap is defined as the following: --An 8 Ball in a Bar Towel (a la Steven Segal in Out of Justice). --A dried and cured Bull Scrotum filled with BBs. --Several doorknobs in a tube sock. (On the other hand, having someone with an actual college-type education and the ability to distinguish the complex differences between They're, Their, and There do the "wording grammer check etc. etc." may be the best decision yet!) |
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